That Drifting Excrement Was Way Too Symbolic! It's the Television Letdowns of the Year.
As we reflect on the TV landscape of the recent year, a handful of series emerge not for their excellence, but for their spectacular failures. From awkward sequels to bafflingly poor documentaries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Plagued with woeful writing, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the third season started, it looked like it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the final season. It concluded on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was just way too symbolic. Yet, viewers certainly found joy dissecting every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a small sob?
All’s Fair
‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was almost the least of this show's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the problems. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The tedious veneration of wealth and consumption? The almost wilful parade of cliches? Performances so poor they felt borderline malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.
AKA Charlie Sheen
Given the restraining orders, abuse claims and fatherly failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while failing to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this series might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charming but flippant egotist.
The Iris Affair
Naturally we knew it was preposterous from the outset: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.
The Gangster Drama
Dodgy characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.
Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were many other problems. Mainly that it was just profoundly boring; a dispute over narcotics territory between various London rogues which seemed a bit basic.
The Meghan Markle Series
Considering the degree to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s performatively enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you view them and are forced to admit that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark platitudes and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are obviously interesting things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Instead, the experience was like reading a marketing catalogue. She obviously has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.
The Inheritance
It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even camper, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too complicated to detail what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up reeking of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something far greater than it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity cameos involved felt icky.
The Sketch Show Return
Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the smart inclusion of gifted emerging comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lurching from strangely jaunty, slightly mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Very much so.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a discovery that could ruin society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This hagiography followed the content creator renowned for explicit exploits as she undertook her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was far greater examination of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.
